A comfort blanket in a sea of thistles
June 1, 2010 at 10:22 pm | Posted in Austin, TSBVI, Yogic Philosophy | Leave a commentIts June! You know what that means.. School’s out for the Summa! It’s almost the end of the school year, which means some of my kids graduate from our school, some of them move to other teachers, and some of them don’t return to our school next year. This June also marks the end of my little sister’s grade school years. She’s graduating from High School! All of this change used to really shake me up, but lately I’ve been starting to find comfort in it.
Lately I’ve been taking a lot of solace in the idea of impermanence. My entire life I have been a pretty fearful little girl. I was afraid of the world. To me, it was a really scary place. I was scared of everything, and change was one of the worst of ‘em. I HATED change. I was (and still am) a big fan of rules. Everyone has rules to follow. And to me, the world would be a much much better place if everyone did follow the rules! (I used to make my mom repeat the “rules” before bedtime every night. Tradition and rules all in one.)
Through this yogic path I’ve been confronted with the idea that “The only certainty in life is that it all changes.” While it was all fine and dandy for my teachers to say, I was not very cheerful when things changed in my own life. Being the pure-blooded Vata girl that I am, any change or transition threw me for such confounding loop! It would almost seem as though my entire life were ending right then and there whenever something changed.
But lately, I’ve noticed a sweet sweet shift. Impermanence, the idea that I once struggled with whole heartedly, has become my ally. My one tried and true and trusted friend. It’s like my own comfort blanket in a sea of thistles. I’ve been able to calm down A LOT (not fully, but hey, I’m human!) by taking comfort in the fact that everything is impermanent.
Lately my knees have been hurting… a ton. It’s just gotten worse and worse and I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t trust my doctor or the company behind her, nor the health care system for that matter. I don’t really know where to turn to but I am SOO fearful that this knee pain could cause serious trouble down the line. Being a yogi, I’m pretty in tune with my body BUT, being a yogi, I’m pretty specific as to what I want to put into my body (i.e. meds, injections, etc..) to cure it. I’ve been struggling a lot with playing with my diet, my foot patterns, my shoes, my walking habits, my habits during asana practice. I feel like I haven’t gotten a break to just play or walk or practice without constant diligence. I’ve also taken it pretty hard about what that means for the future and my careers.
Luckily, I have faith that things will change. I will not be burdened with knee pain forever because there will be an answer and a treatment plan sometime in the near future. Knee pain will change, relationships will change, the scenes will change, everything changes. Everything. This once fearful of the world girl is suddenly embracing the changes. Having faith that things will change when you’re stuck in a rut, and remembering to cherish each happy moment (because those too change) are some of the most powerful gifts impermanence brings.
I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be able to take comfort in change, and to share it with you.
Namaste!
P.S. Classes at TSBVI WILL be on for tomorrow!
Karma
May 24, 2010 at 11:45 pm | Posted in Austin, Yoga, Yogic Philosophy | Leave a commentThis past Sunday I took a day trip with a dear yoga teacher friend of mine. On the way there and back we were talking about our Karmas and Samskaras. On the way home we were talking about what to teach in our classes and delved deeper into the conversation of karmas. This time, discussing not only what they mean to us and our own karmas, but how we can share our experiences with our students through our yoga classes. During our conversation I became so thankful that I could be sitting in a car with a friend having such a magical conversation. Sharing what I’ve gone through with my students takes me to a level of humbleness that is hard to explain. Collaborating with my dear friend on how we are going to share our experiences with our students in our own ways and bouncing ideas off each other… I can’t even describe how wonderful it is that I get to have experiences like that in my life. Cheers to you love! Hazzaaa!
What I can describe is what the heck these Karmas and Samskaras are!
In yoga we use the work “Karma” a little different from how most of the Western world refers to it. In yoga, the word “karma” refers to one’s habitual patterns. The thoughts and actions that we perform over and over again. They are ingrained in us with almost as much intensity as one engraves carvings in wood. The more you perform this certain karma, the more you carve that line into the wood and the deeper the habit becomes. Our deep carvings or habits are called Samskaras. These are the habits that we can’t seem to shake. We all have them.
Our first step is merely to notice these karmas. What are your habitual patterns? They can range anywhere from sleeping on the left side of the bed to the way you react when someone cuts you off in traffic to how you handle your anger and fear. Karmas manifest themselves in many ways and are different from person to person. Are there ways you automatically react when you feel insecure? When you’re mad? When you’re fearful? Personally, I know that there are specific patterns I tend to follow. Some of them are positive, some of them do nothing but make the situation worse. Are there obstacles that you just can’t seem to get over? Do you notice that they keep coming back, time after time? In yogic theory, these obstacles are placed in the path of your life for you to take notice and learn how to over come them. Most of the time, our mission is to take note of how we act/react when these obstacles appear and try to navigate ourselves in a different pattern. It is also said that your karmas follow you from lifetime to lifetime and that you can begin to reach “enlightenment” only when you have overcome all of your negative karmas.
Luckily for us, not all of our karmas are fixed (Drdha Karmas). For most of our karmas, we can overcome them. The Adrdha Karmas are said to not be fixated within us. They are the carvings in the wood that aren’t too deep to overcome. Some of our karmas are on their way to being fixated but can still be changed (Drdhadrha Karmas).
Naturally, going with the grain is the easiest. Going with what you know, with what you’ve always done, is usually preferred. Even if those actions tend to get you nowhere, or worse, may take you 3 steps backwards from your goal.
What’s a yogi to do?
This is the exact question I posed to my dear yogi friend on our road trip yesterday. She ever-so-smartly explained that just as alcoholics and other addicts must do, the first step is to admit that there is a problem. Touche my friend.
So Yogis, my challenge for you this week is to merely notice what your karmas are. Do you have any Samskaras that govern your life?
If you care to go deeper into this challenge:
Whenever a common habitual pattern is noticed, and it is determined that this karma does not benefit you, the goal then becomes to transform it into a more positive karma. These are established in the same ways that our negative karmas are established: through practice, practice, practice! My personal advice is to stay in the present moment and be grateful for what you have and what you know. All too often, our karmas are created out of fear, which is based on things we don’t know or make up in our minds.
Going against the grain of your typical actions/reactions is difficult. It may seem weird and awkward. Just as it wouldn’t be nearly as smooth when carving into wood. If you suddenly begin to turn your carving knife and create a new, different line, it will feel not as smooth and natural. This is the process of yoga. This is the process of transforming your life.
If you continue to carve that new, positive karma whenever you begin to go down the past route, you will find that over time, the positive karma will be the natural flow for your carving knife, and subsequently, your life.
Namaste.
Free Will vs: Fate
May 15, 2010 at 10:50 pm | Posted in Austin, Yoga | Leave a comment
As you all know, lately I’ve been really aware of the journey of that we call life. Last weekend I attended a yoga class and went out to dinner with a friend who 10 months ago, I didn’t know existed. Someone who 10 months after our 1st encounter, I was really sad to see go. It was one of his last days in Austin and while I’d love to say that I’m going to see him again, it may or may not happen. After dinner, I followed his car as far as I could (which wasn’t actually that far). I watched his car veer to the right at a fork in the road where I had to veer to the left. After I veered left I tried to look towards the right to see his car, but alas, it was nowhere to be found in the time I had to look.
In our lives, we are blessed with the grace of others. They come into our lives when it is their time to do so and they leave our lives when it is their time to do so. Sometimes, we have little control over this.
Last weekend I attended an Aryuvedic workshop with Dr. Robert Svoboda, in it he described the difference between fate and free will. Tieing both subjects into each other is difficult to try to do, but I’ll try my best.
What he said is this: When you enter a highway and are able to accelerate (so, not like an I-35 situation). It is your free will that allows you to accelerate as much as you’d like. If there is traffic, you are only given a certain amount of room to accelerate. If you choose to use that free will and tailgate the car in front of you, it will seem like fate if you get into an accident if they stop short or if something comes flying through your windshield if something flies off of their car. You see, you’ve used up all of your free will in that situation. So, when something unexpected happens, you then have no more time or space to make any decisions. Thus, when things happen, it seems like fate.
The way I’ve broken it down in my own head is this: In any situation, you can only control your own actions and behaviors. Shit happens, yes. But if you haven’t used up all of your free will in that situation (a.k.a. you’ve trusted the universe to do its job and you’ve remained calm/relaxed), then when the car ahead of you stops short, you’ll have the time and space to slow down before hitting him.
We all have our journeys and our paths to trudge along. If we can go throughout these paths with patience and with trust in the Universe, we’ll have all the free will we need when it comes time to. However, sometimes we have to notice when we can’t control the situation and we have to let go. We have to notice when there is too much traffic ahead of us for us to speed, to notice when life isn’t giving you the option of exercising your free will, even as much as you’d like to.
The more I take notice of these instances and am able to withdraw my desire to control that situation or exercise my free will, the easier and more pleasant this journey becomes. The more I trust the universe, the more I trust the other people in my life and the more patient I am with them. The more I know without a doubt, that I will get what I need when I need it and don’t have to demand/force my will upon this journey we call life, the easier it is to deal when shit really does hit the fan.
All in all: Life is a journey and everything… EVERYTHING is impermanent.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om.
Peace Peace Peace
Love always,
Kassy
FIESTA!
May 5, 2010 at 11:30 am | Posted in Austin, TSBVI, Yoga | Leave a comment
Every year around Cinco De Mayo TSBVI hosts a FIESTA Celebration for the students. Usually there is great food, Grito contests, music & dancing, and of course Cascarones. The cascarones are by far my favorite part of the whole celebration. These little decorated egg shells filled with confetti bring so much joy to the children and adults alike. Granted, having only been in Texas for 3 years now, I’m still not jaded by their loveliness.
FIESTA is TODAY!!
We will still be having yoga class after the festivities. I’ve planned a more relaxing/calming class to ease the tension and excitement brought on by the festivities today. We’ll be in the Elementary Gym at 4pm as always. Come join us!!
Namaste,
Kassy
Life is a Journey
April 28, 2010 at 2:33 am | Posted in Austin, Yoga | 1 Comment
Life is a Journey. For all the times I’ve heard those words, I’ve always tried to control this “journey”. I’ve always tried to walk where I wanted to walk, take note of the things I wanted to take note of, and end up at a specific destination that I had arbitrarily planned for myself. Only lately have I charged myself with the concept of following this journey and accepting all of its greatness and pitfalls for what they are. For me, this is such a challenge, but it really has been one of the sweetest blessings I have ever allowed myself. To practice a little Pratiyahara (stilling of the senses) has enhanced my life is so many ways. It truly is a much more blissful way to live than to be attached to the outcomes of all that I put before myself.
During our last weekend together, I realized that each of us is traveling along our own journey. I likened it to the concept of walking through the woods. You don’t really know where you’re going to end up or the adventures you’re going to encounter along the way. If you set out to merely wander, the Universe somehow guides you to what you need to see exactly when you need to see it. The Universe invites people into your life at certain places for reasons that we may not know, but if we can learn to trust in the Universe (God, if you will), we can lift all of the expectations of what is “suppose” to be, and be awakened by what “is”.
Sunday was our graduation from Yoga Yoga’s Teacher Training program (highly recommended by the way). The next morning I awoke with a sense of “yes! THIS is who I am supposed to be right now. THIS is what I am supposed to be doing right now!” My morning practice was wonderful and enlightening, it came with ease to even get on my mat, I practiced and took note of where I felt everything and seamlessly developed the class theme for this week’s classes. The day seemed easy, the sun seemed brighter than usual. I felt as though I had leapt off the last page of that past chapter and onto a brand new page waiting for me to fill it in.
To be honest, I’ve been churning with a near-anxt as I’ve been working with relinquishing the tight reigns that I’ve had over how I think things are supposed to go. The weekend before last I went home and hung out with some friends. One of their friends and I got along SOO well, but she will soon return to Tallahassee. Only the Universe knows when I will see this person again, and I have little to do but observe the ebb and flow of our lives. I’ve been contemplating why the Universe would present me with such wonderful people only to know that I can’t hang out with them and I think I’ve come up with some good “reasons”. The most important being: Because, sometimes, things happen, and you have to learn to be happy with what you do have.
Life is a marvelous journey. I can only hope that I can continue down this path of trust in the Universe and relinquish the attachment I usually hold to outcomes and situations.
Looking forward to seeing where this wonderful journey takes me. Care to come along?
Namaste,
Kassy
A surprise visit home :)
April 20, 2010 at 3:04 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentThis week has been FULL of wonderful surprises. 1st, I flew home last Friday to surprise my sister for her birthday! That was followed by a surprise dinner (for her) with her friends and our family at her favorite restaurant, Rainforest Cafe. Although it rained most of my time here, it really has been a great visit/vacation home (or “homecation”, as I like to call them). Being able to be around my family, my original Kula is always humbling (and sometimes enraging).
My friend and I went and shot some awesome yoga pictures yesterday. It’s incredible how hard it is to hold poses while someone walks around you with a camera saying “stay…..stay”. haha! What a freakin workout! I can’t wait to see how they came out! Will be posting them soon, so be on the look out!
Will be back at work and yoga starting tomorrow (4/21) and I look forward to seeing all of you there!
Kula
April 17, 2010 at 8:56 pm | Posted in Austin, Uncategorized, Yoga, YYTT | Leave a comment
*Myself, mom, sis*
*Yoga Yoga Teacher Trainees*
“Kula” (sanskrit) loosely translates to “family” in English. A kula can be your actual family, or any group of people who love and support one another. I’m pretty lucky to have such great kulas, both in Austin and back home in Florida.
One of my yoga kulas (the Yoga Yoga Teacher Training class) is gearing up to graduate next weekend and I could not be more proud. I am so thankful for each and every one of my fellow teachers for all that they have shared with me and for all that they have taught me. Sometimes it’s not the biological families that bind so closely together, but the ones that we chose. I don’t necessarily feel like I was the one soley responsible for choosing this group, but that the Universe graced me with the opportunity to intertwine paths with these wonderful people.
If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable – each segment distinct. ~Letty Cottin Pogrebin
That quote is excemplefies how I feel about our incredible kula. A group of people who, 9 months ago, were perfect strangers. Who have now become a complete circle of sections. Each of us possessing our own personalities, interests, and paths in this new world we are embarking upon. Each of us whole and perfect within ourselves, but much more well-rounded & complete with the rest of the group.
Bowing down in honor of my Yoga Yoga Teacher Training kula, my kula of yogis that I practice with regularly, my kula of friends (that aren’t through yoga), and my biological kula. I am so blessed to have each and every one of you around me.
Namaste,
Kassy
We all grow up with the weight of history on us. Our ancestors dwell in the attics of our brains as they do in the spiraling chains of knowledge hidden in every cell of our bodies. ~Shirley Abbott (A quote I found that really hits home about not only our biological families, but the families created through yogic traditions.)
*Yogis*
*Friends*
- *VI Ladies*
Kick in the butt
April 6, 2010 at 2:59 pm | Posted in Austin, Class experiences, Yoga | Leave a commentThere’s something that I just LOVE about attending a yoga class. For the past couple months I have been in charge of planning yoga sequences and guiding yogic experiences for other people and for myself, but I haven’t really had the opportunity to just let go and flow.
And OH! Does it feel nice!
There’s just something so wonderful about being able to just listen to what someone else is telling you to do, focus totally on your breath and movements, and just let go. There’s also the other end of that- the kick in the pants part. I really needed a good loving kick in the pants in my yoga world, and boy did I get it! Twists are a section of asanas that I’ve basically left out of my sequences when I practice at home, but they are so good for our systems. I also haven’t been doing many standing poses (doctors and their orders and all), but it was nice to do some of the more strengthening poses that I haven’t done lately.
And boy did I feel it this morning! Who knew I had muscles there! Strange! Do you ever feel that way after a yoga class? I woke up with my shoulders, outer hips, and inner calves so sore! Who knew your inner calves could be sore?!
Have you ever had a class that was a good, loving, kick in the pants? Or have you ever been sore after a class in muscles you hadn’t paid much attention to beforehand? Leave a comment, let us know!
P.S. Even if you’re not a student of mine and just found the blog by chance, leave a comment as well!
Impermanence
April 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm | Posted in Yoga | Leave a commentTags: Austin
Last week I went to the Guide Dog School in California for a week-long seminar on how to work with my students/clients who have Guide Dogs. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life to date. The terrain was beautiful, the people were wonderful, the food was delicious, and the friendships I made are more than cherished.
I am so lucky to have a job where almost everyday, I am humbled once again. After a most incredible week in California, I came back with this:
IMPERMANENCE.
One of the women I met while in California knows the exact date and time she became blind. She put eye drops in her eyes that were tainted with drain cleaner. BAM. Life changed forever. I’m not saying that her life changed for the worse what so ever, but it does go to show that what you have one moment may not be there the next.
Nothing in life is permanent. Being present through each moment and really cherishing the relationships that you have with others and the aspects of your life that are here now is utterly important. I know I struggle with this concept on a daily basis when I don’t appreciate the things or people I have around me. It’s hard to not take what we have for granted.
Next to the Guide Dogs School is an old Catholic cemetery. I went on a couple walks through the cemetery to take pictures and was again confronted with the fact that nothing in life stays the same. Looking at all of the tombstones and realizing how many people died young, and how many people’s children died before they did, it really served as a reminder that nothing in life lasts forever. The section of baby graves is always the hardest; to see how much love these parents had for their baby who may have lived a few years, or a couple of days is always grueling. To be aware of how much life really does change in an instant is one of the most humbling feelings.
Take a moment each day to really look around and cherish everything you have right now. It might all change in the blink of an eye.
Oops!
March 22, 2010 at 2:37 am | Posted in Austin, YMCA, Yoga | Leave a commentYMCA students:
I told you that I was going to be out of town this upcoming week (3/25)… that’s totally incorrect! I will be here and we WILL have class this Thursday.
NEXT Thursday (4/1) I will be out of town.
Oops! I’m sorry for telling you the wrong information. See you Thursday!
P.S. Carrie said that she can sub the class on 4/1!!
Kassy
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